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鈥淐an I get a hug?鈥�

It鈥檚 a simple question for a simple act that鈥檚 been especially missed because of COVID-19 distancing. 鈥淗uman beings need social contact,鈥� says , executive director of The Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds at Massachusetts General Hospital, and professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. 鈥淲e are not hermits. We are not solo pilots. We are pack animals.鈥� Not that it needs more promotion, but along with feeling connected, a hug has been shown to and .

But even as restrictions have started to loosen, there are no clear-cut answers on personal interactions between adults. Dr. Todd Ellerin is director of infectious diseases and vice chairman of the department of medicine at South Shore Hospital in Weymouth, Massachusetts, and an instructor in medicine at Harvard Medical School. He doesn鈥檛 recommend against giving a hug, but he鈥檚 also not giving it the green light.

The reality, he says, is there are no safety guarantees, just as it鈥檚 not, 鈥淵ou hug, you get the virus 鈥� it鈥檚 not that simple.鈥� Like with all coronavirus issues, it鈥檚 about individuals making their own assessments about risk.

With a hug, it鈥檚 not the act itself that鈥檚 worrisome, but everything that comes with it. 鈥淚t鈥檚 where you are and how close you鈥檒l be standing. It鈥檚 what you鈥檒l be doing before and after. The hug is not an isolated event.鈥� Ellerin offers three factors to consider in order to determine whether it鈥檚 a safe choice for you.

People. Who鈥檚 involved? The more people who you鈥檙e going to hug, the higher the risk. The health of you and the others involved also matters. It鈥檚 not only whether someone has coronavirus symptoms, but anything that would compromise the immune system, like cancer, obesity, heart disease. And age is still a factor. People over 60 years old, even if healthy, are more vulnerable.

Place. Where would it happen? Outside is preferable, and lower risk than indoors.

Space. How close will you be after the hug? The six-foot zone 鈥� the approximate distance a droplet travels before it falls 鈥� is still a good prescription. And proximity can be an overlooked factor, since there鈥檚 the tendency to remain close and talk, and hugs often come with kissing. You鈥檙e certainly able to exchange聽words when you have a mask on. You just shouldn鈥檛. Masks work, but they鈥檙e not perfect, so, in order to minimize the risk if you choose to hug, when you鈥檙e in close, you shouldn鈥檛 talk.

So what鈥檚 the ideal hug?

Ellerin says that it needs to be mutual, discussed, and pretty much planned. This is not the time for surprise or spontaneous shows of affection. You need to start at six feet away; if you鈥檝e already been talking close to each other, you鈥檝e increased the risk. You need to be masked and looking in opposite directions, so there鈥檚 no breathing or chance of coughing or sneezing on each other. Once the hug is over, you both back away to at least six feet without saying anything. If the hug makes someone cry, you don鈥檛 wipe away another person鈥檚 tears. And even though you should not have hand-to-hand contact, you want to wash your hands afterwards in order to maintain the habit. If you want to add an extra layer of protection, you can also wear a face shield.

The easier decision might be to say it鈥檚 not worth chancing, but in extreme cases, such as when a person is dying, the benefits might outweigh the consequences, Beresin says. These kinds of considerations reflect how COVID-19 has turned instinctive acts into calculations. 鈥淵ou need to be scientific about this, but it鈥檚 hard to be scientific about people you love. We鈥檙e not robots,鈥� Ellerin says.

Maybe there鈥檚 another option

Beresin adds that rather than attempt to script a quick hug and still worry about the dangers, this is an opportunity to be creative, while being masked and at least six feet apart. You can listen to music. You can meditate with guided imagery. You can sit, maybe by a fire, and talk, maybe sharing a reminiscence about a great family vacation or a disastrous Thanksgiving that ended in laughs.

Recollecting, along with making eye contact and saying kind words, are ways to feel close and to be a reminder of how you got through something together. None of these alternatives are as immediate or physical as a hug, 鈥渂ut it does the same kinds of things. We can touch and embrace each other in many different ways,鈥� Beresin says. 鈥淎nd in some respects, it could be better, because it lasts longer than 10 seconds.鈥�

But with the hug, it goes back to the fact that the decision is up to each person. Ellerin says that until a widespread vaccine and treatments are available, 鈥渁s individuals, we have to learn how to manage risks. It鈥檚 not an exact formula.鈥�

For more information about the coronavirus and COVID-19, see the 天博体育 Publishing聽Coronavirus Resource Center.