12 ways to help a child make the transition to kindergarten

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During the summer, I take much of my speech-language therapy practice out of the classroom and office and move it to summer camp. It can be a treat to help preschoolers develop language and social skills with their peers outside on warm summer days.
Around late July, my preschoolers who are heading to kindergarten often need some extra attention. Kids are pretty smart about these transitions and sense the unpredictability of going to a new classroom. They wonder about making new friends and getting used to a new teacher鈥攚ill they be able to find the bathroom, where will they eat snack, how will they fit in?
Some children, like 5-year-old Kara, are very direct about expressing their fears. One day she climbed out of her kayak and dashed across the dock to greet me. She crossed her arms across her chest, stood in front of me with a wide stance, and said, 鈥淎nn, I鈥檓 so scared. I have to go to kindergarten soon!鈥� (You can read the entire conversation with Kara below.)
Other children aren鈥檛 quite as direct about their worries. Another one of my rising kindergartners dumped a bucket of water on my head (I was not dressed for swimming). I knew his behavior wasn鈥檛 because he was in the mood for a good prank, but rather because he had something he wanted to talk about and wanted my full attention. The topic was going to kindergarten.
If you have a child headed to kindergarten in September, here are some ways you can help ease the transition.
- Try to do some play therapy at home. Small figures, stuffed animals, or puppets will do. Have your 鈥渁ctors鈥� experience a transition to a new place. Don鈥檛 forget to 鈥渁ct out鈥� coping strategies, for example, 鈥淢r. Elephant feels scared. So what can he do? Maybe he could tell his teacher!鈥�
- Talk about the transition to your child in a positive way and try not to let your own anxiety about the change show too much.
- Visit the school as soon as you can this summer. If your school offers visiting days, do your best to have your child attend. If your child鈥檚 kindergarten provides a daily schedule of activities ahead of time, go over it with your son or daughter. Take photos of the school, the classroom, and the new teacher, if possible.
- See if you can find out some of your child鈥檚 new classmates, and set up a play date. Some schools offer late summer playground dates for incoming kindergarteners.
- Role play as much as you can (dramatic play is very important to help preschoolers learn how to accept change and how to begin new roles).
- Tell your child how you felt when you had to go to kindergarten鈥攁nd what made you feel better and how it turned out okay (that is if you can remember!)
- Ask your child鈥檚 siblings to tell her/him about their experience.
- Remind your child 鈥淚t鈥檚 okay to be afraid. But, you鈥檒l feel better each day that you鈥檙e there. Lots of kids feel just like you do.鈥� It can be tempting to try to brush off a child鈥檚 fear (after all, you know it will be okay). Instead try to acknowledge your child鈥檚 fear as real and appropriate while offering reassurance.
- Preschoolers need to feel that their parents believe how they feel is true.
- Give your child time to talk to you about their fears.
- With your child, write a story about his or her first day at kindergarten (with your child as the main character!) Include logistics, feelings, etc.
- Read to your child about starting kindergarten. Some good choices are The Night Before Kindergarten (Reading Railroad Books) Paperback, by illustrators Natasha Wing and Julie Durrel; Miss Bindergarten Gets Ready for Kindergarten, written by Joseph Slate and illustrated by Ashley Wolff; Kindergarten Rocks! by Katie Davis; Look out Kindergarten, Here I Come! by Nancy Carlson; and I Am Too Absolutely Small for School (Charlie and Lola), by Lauren Child.
Talking with Kara about starting kindergarten
One of the camps I work with is in a large wooded area with tall trees, a lake and a boat dock. Kara, a 5-year-old, climbed out of her kayak, and dashed across the dock to greet me. She crossed her arms across her chest, stood in front of me with a wide stance, and said, 鈥淎nn, I鈥檓 so scared. I have to go to kindergarten soon!鈥�
I told her, 鈥淚 know it鈥檚 so hard at first, but it gets better!鈥�
She looked down at the ground and then around at her camp friends, looking for support. One friend offered an idea, 鈥淲hy don鈥檛 we have a longer summer?鈥�
I said, 鈥淲ell, I鈥檇 love to spend more time swimming at the pond, but in the fall we all have to go to work to learn.鈥�
Kara, spun around and said, 鈥淎nn, I just can鈥檛 go. I won鈥檛 have my friends there. I miss my preschool teacher!鈥�
I responded, 鈥淗ave you met your new teacher, yet?鈥�
Kara, looking down again answered in a small voice, 鈥淣o.鈥�
I asked, 鈥淲hy don鈥檛 you ask your mom if you can visit your new school and meet that teacher before school starts? Some schools let kindergarteners do that.鈥�
Kara, 鈥淥kay. Maybe. But, I鈥檓 still scared.鈥�
I asked, 鈥淲hat scares you the most?鈥�
Kara whispered, 鈥淚 don鈥檛 know what it鈥檚 like. Will I get to play a lot? Do I have to do a lot of work? What if I can鈥檛 do the work? I can鈥檛 read yet, and a ton of my friends can read!鈥�
I asked, 鈥淜indergarten is a place where lots of kids learn to read. It鈥檚 okay.鈥�
Kara snapped back, 鈥淥h, yeah, but they鈥檒l know I can鈥檛 read. Well, I can read a little, a few words, like 鈥渃at鈥� and 鈥渂at鈥�, but I can鈥檛 REALLY read, like a whole book!鈥�
I suggested, 鈥淲hat if your mom got some of the classroom books to read to you at the end of summer?鈥�
Kara, 鈥淵es. That would be good.鈥�
I asked, 鈥淗ave you seen your classroom, yet? That will help you think about what your new school will be like.鈥�
Kara whispered again, 鈥淥kay. I鈥檒l ask my mom. But, what if the school says no?鈥�
I responded, 鈥淭hey might, but you can at least try!鈥�
Kara paused, looked at me, and announced, 鈥淥kay, but I might cry!鈥�
I answered, 鈥淚t鈥檚 okay to cry and feel lost at first. It鈥檚 okay.鈥�
Kara snapped again, 鈥淣o! It鈥檚 not. I have to be 鈥榞rown up鈥� now and I don鈥檛 want to.鈥�
I tapped her shoulder and said, 鈥淚 think you are a little grown up already. You can talk about how you feel. That鈥檚 good. You can tell your teachers and parents how you feel.鈥�
Kara crouched down to the dock and sat 鈥渃riss-cross, applesauce.鈥� She rested her arms on her kayak paddle. I sat down near her and put my hand on the paddle. We looked at the water and watched the boats move and bump the dock. When they hit, we moved a little, too. I waited until she spoke.
She whispered, 鈥淲ill you visit me in kindergarten?鈥�
鈥淵es and I can鈥檛 wait to hear all about it!鈥� I answered.
Kara smiled.
About the Author

Anne Densmore, Ed.D.
Disclaimer:
As a service to our readers, 天博体育 Publishing provides access to our library of archived content. Please note the date of last review or update on all articles.
No content on this site, regardless of date, should ever be used as a substitute for direct medical advice from your doctor or other qualified clinician.